Eight email, no response

I've had a camera delivered today, three books, one CD and a sleeping bag liner. So, we can conclude that internet shopping often does work - just not if you order anything with Threadless.

Apparently leather is the appropriate gift at an eighth anniversary. I might make myself a leather t-shirt in celebration.

"Hi, I'm calling from the Post Office..."

The phone rang. I answered it. Someone said they were calling from the post office. My heart leapt. Tears of happiness came to my eyes.

They elaborated.

They wanted to tell me about the new broadband service launched by the post office today.

I put the phone down.

And then. Then I wept.

Exciting!! I've had a response!!!

Excitement! I've had a response to one of my many, many emails!!! Apparently, they couldn't possibly have received my previous emails, as they answer ALL emails. In fact, in their own words:



"Hello Susi!

Sorry to hear you have had order troubles. This is the first time we have heard back from you. We answer ALL emails and would never not respond. If you didn't hear back from us, it was because we never got the email.

Sorry you haven't received your order yet. It should have been delivered by now since it is past our 5 week time frame. Was your order sent to the correct address?

Try contacting your post and customs office a final time to make sure they aren't holding the order. Unfortunately international orders are not assigned tracking numbers. If the post/customs office has no information, we may have to consider it lost. Let us know if you aren't able to find it!

Have a wonderful day!"

As we know, the post office and the customs office have no knowledge of my stuff. So, I'm going to tell them again that I'm fairly confident that the order is lost, never to be seen again. I imagine this will be responded to immediately with a fresh order and their assurances that they value me as a customer and this will never happen again.

Nope, no t-shirts

It's starting to kind of get to me.

Still no t-shirts

The mail man has been. He's delivered lots of packages, but still no t-shirts. I'm going to reply to their 'Thank you for your enquiry. Please don't respond to this email' email. It's a slow psychological warfare approach, rather than any decisive action.

In other news, I have a headache in one particular spot, which always makes me worry.

The story so far

Here's what's happened so far:

Some time at the beginning of the year: I decide I love Threadless.

3rd September, 2007: I order 5 t-shirts on Threadless, because they have an awesome sale, and I'm very bad at choosing between things.

25th September, 2007: The last day of summer. T-shirts become less neccessary. I wish I'd ordered the long sleeve versions.

3rd October, 2007: They haven't arrived where I am, in the UK, sitting at my desk, getting excited every time a courier arrives, because I think he has my t-shirts.

4th October, 2007: I email the customer service people at Threadless, asking if they know where my t-shirts are.

5th October, 2007: They reply, saying I should give it another week or so. Specifically, they say this:

"International orders typically take 1-3 weeks to arrive. However orders can take up to 5 weeks, as several of our packages get held up in customs. If your order doesn't arrive within the time frame, try contacting your local post or customs office to make sure your order is not being held. Unfortunately international orders are not assigned tracking numbers, but if the package is being held, the postal and customs office will be able to locate your order using your shipping address as reference. Your order is handled by DHL but will be delivered by your local post office.

Have a wonderful day!

Kristen"

I am not having a wonderful day, but appreciate the sentiment (and the fact that they are American, and therefore can't help but finish off all emails with such cheery sentiments).

8th October, 2007: I email again, saying it now has been a while, and if they've got any update. I get this:

"It hasn't quite been five weeks yet. If you don't receive your order by the end of week, check again with your post office and if nothing turns up let us know and we'll organize a replacement strategy. Sorry for the trouble!

Have a wonderful day!

Kristen"

I begin to think Kristen is a made up person.

16th October, 2007: Nothing has turned up. I am now welling up every time a courier arrives and he goes to someone elses desk.

I email the following:

"I've checked the post office etc, and still no package. Can we start on the replacement strategy?"

Witty? No. To the point? Yes.

17th October, 2007: No reply. I email them again.

18th October, 2007: Still nothing. I decide to make empty threats about posting about my experience on forums and contacting trading standards. I realise that I have no idea who would deal with that in the US if you're in the UK.

23rd October, 2007: I crawl over the dead bodies of several couriers I have had to sacrifice to get to my keyboard and email Threadless again, asking where my t-shirts are.

I call the retail store in Chicago, despite knowing they'll give me some bullshit about not being able to deal with site enquiries on the phone.

I call the PR office, hoping I can scare them with my journalistic threats into providing some kind of customer service, even if it's just for me. I never said I was doing this for the people.

Also on the 23rd October, 2007: I start this blog.